Soooo . . . Mitt Romney. We always knew it would be you. Right from the start all signs pointed to the Rombot with money to burn. Newt tried to make his case but we saw through him. Hell you can’t see AROUND him. Ba-dum-bum! Thank you, I’ll be here all week.
But seriously, the challengers tried their best to stop the Rombot that we affectionately call Mittens. Rick Santorum got some votes while his mouth was still closed. Then he opened it, again and again and again. And weirdly . . . people still voted for him. But in the end more punched their ballots for the clan O’Romney, with his wife by his side in her $1000 shirts, surrounded by their 6, 7, 8, 16 kids, whatever the true number is. They crowded around to try and make him look human.
In the end, the republican primary was about one thing: the people the republican voters wanted to run didn’t and the people they didn’t want to run did. Voter turnout in some states was as low as 5% because . . . no one cared. They looked at their choices and decided they’d rather stay home and watch an NCIS re-run while eating a bag of corn chips.
Now it’s Mitt time. Can you feel the excitement? Do you have general election fever? Do you have November 6 circled on the calendar? Have you been watching CSPAN non-stop? Are you hanging on every word out of David Gregory’s mouth on Meet the Press each week?
Election Fever! Catch it!