Friday, April 27, 2012

Politics in America 2012

Democrats: The sky is blue
Republicans: It’s clearly green and only a communist would call it blue.
Democrats: The republicans don’t know their facts. The sky is blue. All you have to do is look at it to see.
Republicans: We’re not talking about facts. We’re talking ideology. Politically the sky is a conservative green.
Democrats: Grass is green.
Republicans: Outrageous. To call grass green like it’s a foregone conclusion is the most Fascist statement ever made.
Democrats: We would like to waste everyone’s time by presenting a non-binding resolution to the congress that states unequivocally the sky is blue and the grass is green.
Republicans: We are announcing our intentions to further waste people’s time by filibustering this reckless and incendiary piece of fluffery.
Democrats: We have created a new government agency to monitor the colors of things, the Department of Hue Awareness.
Republicans: We will block the assignation of any czar of Hue Awareness with demagoguery and time wasting techniques of historical proportions.
Rush Limbaugh: The democrats’ attacks on the skies over this great nation are the worst kind of dictatorial nonsense. Here we have senators, at one time a respected position in our government, demanding that everyone believe that the sky is blue. Demanding it. Like we don’t have the gift of sight and the blessing of a sound mind to make that determination on our own.
Keith Olbermann: Today Rush Limbaugh, in between wolfing down a dozen bags of powdered mini donuts, spewed out more of his rancid rhetoric, criticizing democratic members of congress for telling the truth and nothing but the truth about the color of the sky. As per usual, Rush is on the wrong side of a battle that is not ideological, but strictly scientific and factual.
Democrats: The republicans love to toss around words they don’t understand like “communist” and “fascist”, but they can’t bring themselves to look at facts because it will prove them wrong.
Republicans: Democrats like to toss around words like “facts” like we’re in the backyard on a Sunday afternoon playing flag football. It is never as simple as looking at “facts”.
CNN: As the partisan debate on the color of the sky heats up the rhetoric from both sides is becoming damaging. Joining us now for a round table discussion are 4 former democratic senators, 4 former republican congressman, 27 various political strategists and tuning in via Skype are the publishers of 4,325 political blogs.
Michelle Bachmann: I don’t know what color the sky actually is, but I do know it’s falling down around us. The democrats and their socialist, communist, fascist ideals are bringing it to its knees.
Fox News: Run! Run! Run! The sky is falling, Death! Destruction! Pestilence! Run for your lives! The world is ending and it’s the liberals fault!
Any Local Newspaper or Online News Site: Scientists from the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration released a report today containing definitive proof that the sky is blue.
Democrats: We are calling on the leaders of the republican party to formally apologize for their part in the fabricated controversy about the color of the sky.
Republicans: We don’t believe being vigilant as the watchmen of this country is anything to apologize for.
The American People: SHUT UP! All of you!

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