That's Debatable

Chris Wallace of Fox News said yesterday that all these Republican debates were stupid. There have been so many that the moderators are having trouble finding new questions to ask. People, we shouldn’t need a Fox News broadcaster to tell us 19 debates are too many. This is an ability that should be inherent to all of us. There are babies being born right now who’s first thought while lying in their mother’s arms is “Really? 19 Republican debates? I’ve been in the womb for the last 9 months and I know Newt Gingrich is a dbag.”

The original field of candidates was transparent in their faults. As a society we didn’t require even one debate to know all we needed. Every time Michelle Bachman speaks the music from the shower scene in Psycho plays in our heads. The republican voters rightfully discarded her quickly in a field somewhere in Iowa. She’s probably preaching to the rats that the corn stalks are un-American and should be investigated by the department of agriculture.

Rick Perry? HE’S FROM TEXAS! Why would you need more? But for you stubborn folks out there, Rick decided to open his mouth . . . and forget what he was talking about mid-sentence, ending with a doofus grin and an “oops”. Imagine that scenario with Perry’s finger a half inch from the button that controls our arsenal of nuclear weapons. Whoo doggies!

Have we really learned anything new about Mitt Romney through 19 agonizing debates? He’s rich, he’s a Mormon, he will say anything to get the nomination, and he’s brainless. He’s Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz and we saw the straw protruding from his scalp 4 years ago. Nothing’s changed. Call me when you find out he’s wearing ruby red pumps behind the podium.

Rick Santorum has been and always will be an ultra-conservative nightmare. All the debates have done is allowed a wider audience to hear the feces that leaks from his mouth. I would say that that was actually a good thing except someone listened and instead of phoning Pennsylvania and asking us to take him back, they VOTED for him. I’m looking in your direction Iowa.

Ron Paul is Ron Paul, always the outsider, which is strange because he has the pre-requisite racism needed to be a Republican politician along with the gutless denials of said racism. He wants to repeal the civil rights act, is an extreme isolationist and couldn’t give a shit if you can’t afford health insurance. It is a wonder he doesn’t garner more votes.

There are several more debates scheduled which is insanity. How many more times can Mitt Romney change his position on an issue before his head explodes. Actually, I’d watch that. Debate on, assholes.