Wednesday, June 6, 2012

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The National Association of Organizations and Alliances (NAOA) released a report today stating that there are now over 1.5 million organizations, associations, alliances and research think tanks in the United States.

“We were stunned at the sheer number of organizations that have formed in the just the last 12 months,” said NAOA president Mortimer Frangelica. “The number of think tanks has gone down as the country gets stupider but organizations and alliances are way up.”

These numbers, however, are being disputed by General Howland Misercordia of the American Alliance of Associations and Organizations (AAAO). “Our research shows a clear drop in the formation of new groups over the past 24 months. It’s very discouraging.” The General went on to say that his organization has been starting a grass roots campaign to encourage people to form groups of any kind. “We feel it’s a valuable activity and would like to see it grow again.”

Not everyone agrees. Franklin Popgoestheweasel, founder of the Mid-Atlantic Alliance for Organizational Group Formation (MAAOGF) believes there are already too many formal organizations in the United States. “It’s ridiculous. My damn kids are filing paperwork as we speak for a new alliance and there 7 and 9.”

Melissa Heywatchit and Gordon Spub, co-creators of the Alliance for Associations, Organizations, Foundations, Think Tanks, Research Funds and Charitable Trusts (AAOFTTRFCT) believe that only a group with a clear charter should be given government grants. “There are so many fly-by-night organizations applying for grants that there isn’t enough money left for legitimate groups like ours,” Spub said. Added his partner, “We started AAOFTTRFCT out of my garage and now we meet in a Dairy Queen. That’s legitimacy.”

The largest group of this kind in America is of course The National United American Organization for the Alliance and Association of Foundations, Funds, Charities, Trusts, Research Grants, Think Tanks, Booster Clubs, Shriners and Circus Performers (NUAOAAFFCTRGTTBCSCP). President Lafferty O’Gilligan declined to comment for this article.

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