Saturday, March 20, 2010

Leaping the Hammerhead

I hate the term “Jump the Shark”. Don’t know why exactly but it’s always irritated me. What irritates me more is that so many people use the phrase. My recollection is that some random nobody created a web site where HE decided when a TV show had ceased to be a quality show. Taking a scene from Happy Days that Johnny Website didn’t like, he used it to create “jump the shark”. My real question is why did anyone care? How has this idiotic phrase become part of our lexicon and why are people taking his word for when a show has passed its sell-by date? Think for yourself people. Don’t let someone else tell you when a show isn’t any good anymore. Make up your own minds.

For example, I wouldn’t watch Grey’s Anatomy even if someone attached grappling hooks to my testicles and started climbing my leg like it was the Empire State Building. But if you like it, then watch it, tape it, Tivo it, discuss it with friends. It’s your business, not mine.

Also, why did Sharkboy pick that scene in Happy Days? There were other TV moments that you could use. Make up your own and bandy it around the water cooler at work.

How about when Mary went blind on Little House on the Prairie? You could use that as a starting point and say to Stan from accounting: Boy, Friends really “blinded Mary” when they had that one episode where Ross acted like a mealy-mouthed, spineless loser who still somehow got a woman who looks like Jennifer Aniston to sleep with him repeatedly.

Remember MASH? Of course you do. After several seasons Gary Burghoff who played Radar left the show and was replaced as company clerk by Klinger, played by the minimally talented, quickly annoying Jamie Farr. You could start a conversation with that cute girl in sales with: In my opinion, Lost really “replaced Radar” when it got as boring as CSPAN redistricting debates in season 3.

Frasier was on for 12 seasons. A pivotal moment occurred late in the series run when Niles finally consummated his lust by boning Daphne. So you’re sitting in the cafeteria and you want to divert the hairy IT guy from his usual Star Trek vs. Star Wars diatribe and you say: I think Home Improvement “boned Daphne” with that one episode when Tim grunted like a baboon, did something stupid and then his wife nagged him like a shrew the rest of the show until the last 5 minutes when he apologized for the 1,345th time even though deep down he still didn’t understand what he was apologizing for and just wanted her to shut up.

These are just some examples. Think about your favorite TV shows from the past and create your own, then use them in conversation and confuse the shit out of everyone. Oh, and stop saying “jump the shark”, it really bugs me.

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