Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Interviewing the New Year

My interview with 2013:

CO: So far in the news we have Justin “I still look like a fifteen year old girl” Bieber smoking pot, Alabama winning the football national championship, Lindsay Lohan getting arrested, the moron who wants Piers Morgan deported is from Texas . . .  and he’s insane, and Congress is pissing on themselves. Seems a lot like 2012.

2013: Yeah, well, I wanted to ease into my new gig, so, I borrowed a few items from my buddy 2012 to get started.

CO: When will you be asserting your own personality?

2013: Hmmm. Good question. I’m not . . . really . . . motivated . . . for success. So I’m in no hurry.

CO:  But people, in general, look at a new year as an opportunity for things to be better than the previous year.

2013: True, but let’s be honest, does it ever work out that way?

CO: It must sometimes, for someone.

2013: Yeah, that’s not much of an incentive for me to put up an effort.

CO: You’ve been smoking weed with Bieber, haven’t you?

2013: What? How dare . . . yeah, I have. Dude gets good shit too. It’s from some farm in Thailand. Damn, I am so loose right now.

CO: You’re not going to do anything about anything, are you?

2013: Hmm? Wha?

CO: Do I hear . . . the Grateful Dead?

2013: Truckin’ like the doodah man!

CO: Go away.

2013: In 357 days brother.

CO: Happy New Year!

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