Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Back Off, Chris Matthews

After Michelle Bachmann’s wonderfully loopy State of the Union Response for Loons, Chris Matthews called her a “balloon head”. While I agree with his assessment I must first point out that the more apt term is “whack job”. Also, back off Matthews! Bachmann is my muse. Go yap about Palin, Angle, Malkin or some other female Republican/Tea Party fringe lunatic.

Michelle has been the inspiration for many of my blogs and I won’t have some TV blowhard cutting into my time inside Michelle’s brain. Granted, there’s plenty of room for both of us but I've been making myself comfortable. I've hung drapes, have an entertainment room set up and a hot plate for quick meals.

I realize that Michelle can be irresistible. The things she says aren't just ignorant, they’re coming from the edge of the universe where space and time corkscrew together in a way that almost makes Tracey Jordan seem funny. This is precisely why she has moved me to write about her so many times. You can’t make up the shit she says and if you did they would tell you to lie down and quit interrupting the lobotomy.

This is my one and only warning to you Matthews. Find your own muse to blather on about. I need Michelle to inspire my own bloviating laced with delightful sarcasm. Obama used to give your leg the jitters, try falling in love with him again. There’s nothing like an old romance made new again. Bottom line, Michelle Bachmann is off limits to you.

Don’t make me turn my satirical wit toward you. I have at least eight regular readers. You don’t want that kind of attention.

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