The Name Game for Blame and Fame That's Never the Same and Rarely Lame

One of the recent silly fads that wastes our time, gives us a laugh and unclogs nasal congestion are name generators where through some Byzantine process you discover your mob name, Goth name or rock star name. Many of these generators I’ve seen on Facebook and while some of them are interesting, many are lame and worst of all they don’t explain the process of how they generate your name. I decided to create a few of my own name generators. Play along at home for fun and prizes.

Alien Name Generator:

Let’s say you are an alien from another planet on a first contact mission to Earth. I’m going to help you determine what your name would be:

choose a letter from the alphabet
take the first 3 letters of your favorite animal and add the last 3 letters of your first name
your favorite beverage spelled backwards

Now for an example: My favorite animal is the tiger, my first name is Chris and my favorite drink is Coke. So my alien name would look like this:

H Tigris Ekoc

Another example: Bernard’s favorite animal is a gorilla and his favorite drink is lemonade so his alien name is:

Z Gorard Edanomel

Do you like horror movies? Great, so do I. Some of the homicidal, indestructible killers in these movies have cool epithets like Leatherface, Pinhead or Pumpkinhead. So let’s generate your horror movie killer name:

Horror Movie Killer Name Generator:

Pick your favorite fabric, sewing accoutrement, or vegetable
Add a body part

Examples: Rutabaga Pancreas
100 % Pre-shrunk Cotton Elbow
Thimble Toes
Cauliflower Testicles

Who doesn’t love death metal music? I know, I know, we could argue for hours about which is the best band but that’s for another time. The band’s have names like Mayhem, Altar of Plagues, Beyond Black Void, Abysmal Torment and Napalm Death. Let’s generate your death metal band name so you can start writing songs about demons, death, death, darkness, and death:

Death Metal Band Name Generator:

Start with a somber color like black, dark blue or blood red
Add a downbeat word like bleak, morbid, sorrow, or affliction
Add a violent word like eviscerate, bludgeon or fustigate

Examples: Black Bleak Destroyer
Blood Red Clinical Depression Pulverizer
Blue Lugubrious Shredder
Black and Blue Macabre Vivisepulture

Play around with these name generators and let me know what you come up with. And remember, if you’ve learned anything from this blog, you’re taking it way too seriously.