Let’s check on the Republican presidential race after 3
primaries:
Jeb! Has become Jeb L
Carly Fiorina has been downsized and is currently using an
Acer notebook to forward cat videos to the sad people who donated money to her
campaign.
Chris Christie is at the local Golden Corral drowning his
sorrows in beef gravy.
John Kasich is stubbornly remaining in the race. He’s
running on one leg, dragging the second behind him like a dead tree limb and
carrying a bag of second graders on his back, but he’s still there.
Ben Carson is also for some reason sticking around. He hasn’t
polled above 7% in any primary, he doesn’t do well in the debates and he has
terrible ideas. The old saying is 2 out of 3 ain’t bad. 0 out of 3 means it’s
time to pack up your shit and go home.
Oh, and Jim Webb dropped out. Not much to say about that
since no one knew Jim Webb was running. No real grass roots movement for ol’
Jim. More like a patch of weeds forcing its way up between the cracks of a
broken sidewalk. The voters shot it with weed killer and he’s gone.
The big three remain: Donald Trump, Ted Cruz and Marco
Rubio. It’s quite a choice the voters have. Cast your ballot either for a
talking orangutan, an oil stain on the garage floor or Ricky Ricardo. Sorry but
the last Republican debate I just kept waiting for Rubio to look at Trump and
yell, “Lucy! You got some splaining to do!” That would have been sweet.
Good luck voters, there are no winners here.
No comments:
Post a Comment