CO: So, the International Astronomical Union has downgraded you from planet status . . .
Pluto: What! How? What? When did this happen?
Pluto: Crap, my email service out here is terrible. Damn you AOL.
CO: Sorry to have to break it to you like this.
Pluto: What did I ever do to the IAU? I bought tickets every year to their Costume Ball and Fish Fry even though I obviously wasn’t going to attend, and this is how they repay me?
CO: Their main reason was your small stature.
Pluto: Typical. The little guy is always getting picked on. Every time I pass inside
Neptune’s orbital path he tries to consume me. Jupiter
keeps bragging that he has storms bigger then me. I can’t help my size. I am
who I am.
CO: They have recently discovered your 5th moon.
Pluto: Goody for them, I already knew it was there. He sings Bread songs all day long. How many times do I have to hear “Baby I’m a Want You”?
CO: How do feel about having 5 moons to the Earth’s one, but being designated a dwarf planet?
Pluto: I’m simply more “attractive”. Get it? Ba dum bum. I’ll be here all week. No, seriously, I have nothing against Earth as a planet, it’s the scientists. They’ve been slagging on me ever since Clyde Tombaugh discovered me.
was my only real friend on Earth. We used to commiserate over personal
problems; his was family stuff mine was the painful itch of asteroids. HA! I’m
CO: I didn’t know you had such a . . . good . . . sense of humor.
Pluto: Oh yeah, I’ve been working the clubs in the Kuiper Belt for years under my stage name: Shecky Neptune. I’ll do anything to piss off
he’s a jerk. The IAU should reclassify him as a jerk planet. Hey I have to add
that to my act!
CO: Ok, well I have to go.
Pluto: See you around the Oort Cloud.