I was watching an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 the other day. It was an old Hercules movie and at the end robot Tom Servo was free styling a “what ever happened to Hercules” bit. Tom’s version had old Herc being out of the demi-God business and spending his time on the couch drinking beer and watching game shows while his wife Iole worked data entry at Finger Hut. It’s a very funny skit and it occurred to me it could be a good writing exercise for myself, so what follows is my “what ever happened to the Terminator”. I’m ignoring the 3rd and 4th movies and starting from the end of the 2nd film.
After helping to save the world the Terminator had been restored to about 80% of his original state and for a while he slept on the floor at Sarah and John Connor’s place, but they moved around too much. He got tired of the string of cheap motel rooms and $1 tacos from a local bar so he set out on his own, leaving in the middle of the night to hitch a ride with Smelly Joe, a long-haul trucker out of Dubuque whose body odor was a mixture of spring onions and an infected sore. The Terminator road with Joe as far as
While in the holding cell the Terminator met Dennis LaFontaine, a lawyer from
Once at the building, the Terminator found out it was actually 6 refrigerators. They were all filled with counterfeit Sony portable DVD players that were built in the
Unfortunately they got lost in
In a swift trial, the Terminator was convicted of transporting illegal material across state lines and larceny while Dennis testified against him, telling authorities the Terminator was the titular head of an electronics counterfeiting ring that spread from Hong Kong to
The Terminator was sent to the
Now that story would make a really bad movie. Starring Jean Claude Van Damme.