Tuesday, December 15, 2009

The 22 Million email March

The news was broken a few days ago that technicians have been able to recover 22 million White House emails that were lost during the Bush administration. Now I’ve lost things before, but 22 MILLION emails? What could they have said that no one tried to save them or retrieve them when they realized they were lost? Luckily Cosmic Overdrive has gotten its hands on some of the messages and they shed some light on what the day to day workings of the Bush White House were like:

From: George Bush
To: Donald Rumsfeld
Subject: cool video

Hey Rummy, have you seen that video on the You Tubes of that kitty playing the piano? Can we get that kitty for the next Kennedy Center thing? Get on it.

From: Dick Cheney
To: Dana Perrino
Subject: Fear

I saw the press briefing today. There was no mention of how afraid the American people should be. From now on I want at least 3 mentions of fear to the press every day.

From: George Bush
To: Dick Cheney
Subject: Hey!

Hey grandpa! You awake? Ha ha ha

From: George Bush
To: John Ashcroft
Subject: Nickname

Hey Ashcroft I have a new nickname for you: Asscrap! Ashcroft—Asscrap, you get it? Gotta go, some general is talking to me

From: Donald Rumsfeld
To: All
Subject: Computer Usage

Whoever used my computer last Tuesday while I was at lunch, I’m not paying for all this Indonesian porn you ordered

From: George Bush
To: All
Subject: Fwd: Get to Know Your Friends

I better get this back!
Fill in your answers and forward to all your email buddies
Name: George Bush
Occupation: The Decider
What are you wearing right now: GI Joe pjs
Favorite TV show: Gilligan’s Island
Cocaine or beer: BOTH!
Last book you read: Don’t remember, but the last movie I saw was Rambo III, get ‘em Rocky!
Person most likely to respond: mom
Person least likely to respond: Cheney (come one old man, prove me wrong!)
Woman you’d most like to see naked: Condi (don’t tell her)

From: Dick Cheney
To: George Bush
Subject: RE: Get to Know Your Friends

How many times have I told you to stop sending me this crap? I have a country to run!

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