Sunday, July 5, 2009

The Women of the GOP: Insane in the Membrane

Missouri state Representative Cynthia Davis

In a press release the Missouri Department of Health and Senior Services spoke about a summer food program which provides “food during the summer for thousands of low-income Missouri children who rely on the school cafeteria for free or reduced-price meals during the regular school year.” What is Davis’ take on this program?

Churches and other non-profits can do this at no cost to the taxpayer if it is warranted . . . Anyone under 18 can be eligible? Can’t they get a job during the summer by the time they are 16? Hunger can be a positive motivator.

You know what else is a positive motivator? The sense that someone cares about you, positive role models who show these children that their lives can get better. I also believe children should be allowed to be children as long as possible before we let the world crush them. These Missouri youngsters will have a more enjoyable summer vacation if their bodies aren’t wracked by hunger pangs. Jimmy’s dreams of one day playing baseball for the St. Louis Cardinals will be all the sweeter if his teeth aren’t falling out because of a vitamin C deficiency, while his sister Janey’s paranoid delusions from a lack of vitamin B-12 could be kept to a minimum while she practices backyard gymnastics.

Soon-to-be-Former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin

10 things we know about Sarah Palin:

1. she’s stupid
2. she’s narcissistic
3. she’s not too bright
4. she loves attention
5. she’s not the smartest moose in the woods
6. Sarah loves her some Sarah
7. she’s living in the governor’s mansion but the lights aren’t on and the door is unlocked
8. she will exploit anyone including her own children if it gains her something
9. man is she stupid
10. she wants to be president of the United States and if the citizens of this country ever elect her to that post we will officially be the country with the dumbest population on Earth

Michelle Bachmann

Michelle Bachmann is paranoid.

How paranoid is she?

Her ideas are even too far out there for Glenn Beck. Glenn Beck! The man who agreed with one of his guests that the only hope to save America is for it to be attacked by terrorists again! The man who openly wishes for the deaths of Americans, backs away from Michelle Bachmann, wipes his hands and says “I’m out.”

Michelle’s latest missive from Bedlam is that she won’t fill out the 2010 census form because she believes that President Obama has nefarious plans for the information collected. Her reasoning? Roosevelt used the census information during World War II to put Japanese citizens into internment camps.

While the government has already admitted its mistake during the war and apologized to the Japanese-Americans who were imprisoned, I believe we must revive this program. We only need one camp, actually just a building, large enough to house Michelle Bachmann. We’ll call it Camp Conspiracy and erect it in Missouri so the low cost school lunch program can feed her and Sarah Palin can stop by occasionally for a photo op and to exploit her family.

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