Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Kelly Osbourne is not a Racist, says Kelly Osbourne

Kelly Osbourne, the colostomy bag of the entertainment world, opened her gaping maw the other day allowing a stream of bile to emerge and form what she considers a thought. Most of humanity would have considered it a turd made from an evening of too many turkey sausage tacos and flushed it into the sewer.

Kelly gave her thought the pet name Mr. Duh and then set him loose on The View:

If you kick every Latino out of this country, then who is going to be cleaning your toilet, Donald Trump?”

The 8 loyal viewers of The View quickly put down their morning bacon and egg croissant to text, tweet and post about the insensitive thing that the famous-for-no-reason British twat had just said.

Kelly quickly sent Mr. Duh into seclusion while she dealt with the press, releasing a statement, NOT an apology: “I will take responsibility for my poor choice of words but I will not apologize for being a racist, as I am NOT.”

Miss Osbourne did not elaborate on what words would have been a better choice to say that all Latinos clean toilets for a living. The world waits with Cheetos-laced breath for her final dissertation on not being a racist bag of English gravy.

Kelly Osbourne also noted in her statement that she cleans her own toilets. This isn’t that surprising considering she is a toilet.

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