Monday, March 5, 2012

Out Sick

Hello my blog reading knuckleheads. I’ve been away for awhile due to illness. An infection named Bertram climbed into my nose, burrowed into my nasal cavities, and filled my sinuses up with mucous. He packed it in so tight my head started to throb and hasn’t stopped for 6 days. Oh, that Bertram.

I’m going to kill him. Bertie is a dead infection. He sleeps with the bacteria. I want him dead, I want his microorganisms dead, I want his pathogens burned to the ground.

I didn’t do much last week except swallow pills and watch TV. I channel surfed a lot and found a few things out. There are a lot of people living in the swamps of Louisiana and they all have their own TV shows now. Swamp People, Swamp Hunters, Swamp Loggers, Gator Boys, Swamp Thing . . . no, wait, that was a comic book. Anyway, there are a ton of film crews in the marshes following these toothless people around while they shoot gators, speak in an accent that only they can understand and apparently live their version of the American Dream.

Also on my viewing list were CNN and MSNBC. I thought about watching Fox News but decided to keep the few brain cells I have left. What I noticed about the other alphabet news networks is every hour a new program begins: “Blah Blah with So-and-So”, and these shows are virtually identical. They all talk about whatever the big story of the day is and they all have 4 guests at the same time to discuss it. “Please welcome senior political writer for, Ralph Jester; former republican senator Larry Wellsley; democratic strategist Janet Frood and the janitor from this building, Earl Johnson.” After about 4 hours of this nonsense you’ve listened to the same stories until nausea has set in and your head is filled with the banal opinions of people you don’t respect or care about.

And just what the hell is a “senior political writer” at a news-based web site? Does that mean he was the first guy hired when they got their start-up money? Half of these “senior” writers look like they’re 12.

Maybe I’m just cranky from being sick but day time TV sucks. Time for my meds.


  1. There's aways the 4th hour of The Today Show with Katie Lee and Hoda. Drink up!

    1. There are so many things wrong with your suggestion I don't know where to begin.