I read a headline recently that Rush Limbaugh said that if Healthcare Reform passes he will leave the country. I believe he later clarified that he would leave only for what he deems better healthcare, but I am choosing to ignore the clarification because I find it funnier to think of him having to leave the country. To that end I have written a short poem for the occasion:
Rush
please, please go,
leave, get out,
end your show.
No one will miss you
No one will care,
you're not special
you're not rare.
America doesn't need you
we'll be better off.
If you really love this country
you'll piss off.
Good riddance,
leave right now.
We'll help you pack,
Bang! Boom! Pow!
You made the statement
now live up to it,
don't be a prick
you racist piece of . . .
Why don't we end this
on a good note:
Good bye
get on the boat
Showing posts with label health care reform. Show all posts
Showing posts with label health care reform. Show all posts
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Healthcare! the Musical
President Barack Obama walks out to center stage, enters a single spotlight and sings
(sung to the tune of Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star)
I am President O-ba-ma
I want health care for everyone
we have a bill that is 2000 pages long
it’s not perfect but it’s very strong
I am President O-ba-ma
I want healthcare for everyone
the spotlight moves stage right to a group of Republican leaders
(sung to the tune of The Grinch Who Stole Christmas)
We’ll never
allow this to happen
we’ll lie and cheat and stall
we’ll make up stories about death panels
we’ll get Glen, Rush and Sean on the call
we’ll win
and let the democrats take the fall
the spotlight moves down to the floor to a group of uninsured Americans
(sung to the tune of Over the Rainbow)
Somewhere out in the world
people have health care
it’s not me or anyone I know
this old world just isn’t fair
the spotlight moves stage left to a group of democratic leaders
(sung to the tune of Another One Bites the Dust)
We wrote a bad bill, we know it
but we’re gonna to push it through
we’re doing it fast, not getting it right
gonna blow a lot of dough
are you ready, are you ready to pay
can you tell we don’t have a clue?
we’re the United States congress
we’re all smarter than you
we are filibuster proof
we have 60 votes
and another repub gone, and another repub gone
we have the votes we need
hey, we’re gonna jam it through
this bill’s all we’ve got
a harp trills in the background as the spotlight follows a newsie holding up a newspaper
Extra! Extra! Read all about it! House and Senate pass health care reform bill! President Obama vows to sign the hell out of it!
the spotlight moves stage right back to the republicans
(sung to the tune of Swing Low, Sweet Chariot)
It’s over
we lost the battle
but we won’t give up on the war
it’s over
the vote is there’s
we just have to lie and cheat some more
the spotlight goes back to shine on President Obama
(sung to the tune of the chorus of We Are the Champions)
I am the champion . . . my friends
and I got what I wanted in the end
I am the champion
I am the champion
no time for detractors
cause I am the champion . . . of health care reform!
the stage lights come up
(sung to the tune of Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star)
I am President O-ba-ma
I want health care for everyone
we have a bill that is 2000 pages long
it’s not perfect but it’s very strong
I am President O-ba-ma
I want healthcare for everyone
the spotlight moves stage right to a group of Republican leaders
(sung to the tune of The Grinch Who Stole Christmas)
We’ll never
allow this to happen
we’ll lie and cheat and stall
we’ll make up stories about death panels
we’ll get Glen, Rush and Sean on the call
we’ll win
and let the democrats take the fall
the spotlight moves down to the floor to a group of uninsured Americans
(sung to the tune of Over the Rainbow)
Somewhere out in the world
people have health care
it’s not me or anyone I know
this old world just isn’t fair
the spotlight moves stage left to a group of democratic leaders
(sung to the tune of Another One Bites the Dust)
We wrote a bad bill, we know it
but we’re gonna to push it through
we’re doing it fast, not getting it right
gonna blow a lot of dough
are you ready, are you ready to pay
can you tell we don’t have a clue?
we’re the United States congress
we’re all smarter than you
we are filibuster proof
we have 60 votes
and another repub gone, and another repub gone
we have the votes we need
hey, we’re gonna jam it through
this bill’s all we’ve got
a harp trills in the background as the spotlight follows a newsie holding up a newspaper
Extra! Extra! Read all about it! House and Senate pass health care reform bill! President Obama vows to sign the hell out of it!
the spotlight moves stage right back to the republicans
(sung to the tune of Swing Low, Sweet Chariot)
It’s over
we lost the battle
but we won’t give up on the war
it’s over
the vote is there’s
we just have to lie and cheat some more
the spotlight goes back to shine on President Obama
(sung to the tune of the chorus of We Are the Champions)
I am the champion . . . my friends
and I got what I wanted in the end
I am the champion
I am the champion
no time for detractors
cause I am the champion . . . of health care reform!
the stage lights come up
Thursday, November 26, 2009
The "The Recession is Over but I Still Ain't Got Nothin' " Blues
That stone just keeps on rolling
Bringing me some real bad news
The takers get the honey
Givers sing the blues
Robin Trower—Too Rolling Stoned
Friends trying to find jobs
can’t get nothing
not even an interview
this “recessions” a tough one
I’ve got a job
hell I’ve got 2
gotta have both
to stay out of the screws
Families everywhere
are losing their homes
no money for the mortgage
who has 900 bones?
The banks take them back
they owned them all along
Citibank and Chase
say “we’ve done nothing wrong”
Health insurance costs
are out of control
40 million of us
have no help with the toll
The government plan is
just stay healthy
politicians won’t stop the insurance companies
because their making too much money
We bail the banks out
because they’re too big to fail
but we the people
our lives are for sale
Even after we save them
bonuses worth billions
get paid out
to greedy Wall Street minions
The recession is over
shouts the news
then why am I still broke
and singing the blues?
Bringing me some real bad news
The takers get the honey
Givers sing the blues
Robin Trower—Too Rolling Stoned
Friends trying to find jobs
can’t get nothing
not even an interview
this “recessions” a tough one
I’ve got a job
hell I’ve got 2
gotta have both
to stay out of the screws
Families everywhere
are losing their homes
no money for the mortgage
who has 900 bones?
The banks take them back
they owned them all along
Citibank and Chase
say “we’ve done nothing wrong”
Health insurance costs
are out of control
40 million of us
have no help with the toll
The government plan is
just stay healthy
politicians won’t stop the insurance companies
because their making too much money
We bail the banks out
because they’re too big to fail
but we the people
our lives are for sale
Even after we save them
bonuses worth billions
get paid out
to greedy Wall Street minions
The recession is over
shouts the news
then why am I still broke
and singing the blues?
Thursday, November 12, 2009
The Fearmongers!
This Tuesday at 9 it’s a new episode of Fox’s hit drama The Fearmongers! This week’s episode: Dr. Death!
Starring Glenn Beck as The Douchebag:
“Conservatives are awake. 9/12ers are willing to do the hard things. We know what this means! We’re taking time out of our busy lives, taking time away from their families; they’re attending town hall meetings. They are calling their representatives. How many times do we have to be yelled at by your people in Washington? The 9/12ers are willing to stand in line and take our shoes off before the plane actually hits the tower.”
Michele Bachmann as Wingnut Michele:
“I’d love to have everyone join me so we can go up and down through the halls, find members of Congress, look at the whites of their eyes and say, ‘Don’t take away my healthcare.’”
Virginia Foxx as Birdbrain:
“Everywhere I go in my district, people tell me they are frightened. . . . I share that fear, and I believe they should be fearful. And I believe the greatest fear that we all should have to our freedom comes from this room – this very room – and what may happen later this week in terms of a tax increase bill masquerading as a health care bill. I believe we have more to fear from the potential of that bill passing than we do from any terrorist right now in any country.”
Tonight’s episode is brought to you by the Republican Party:
The health care reform bill is right outside your door! It's wearing a vest of explosives. Don’t let it into your home! Terrorists! Conspiracy! Fear! Listen to us!
And FOX News:
Tune in to tomorrow’s episode . . . whoops, I mean newscast, to hear all about how democrats sweat sulfur from the bowels of hell and republicans’ saliva cures cancer! Fox News, we lie so you don’t have to!
Starring Glenn Beck as The Douchebag:
“Conservatives are awake. 9/12ers are willing to do the hard things. We know what this means! We’re taking time out of our busy lives, taking time away from their families; they’re attending town hall meetings. They are calling their representatives. How many times do we have to be yelled at by your people in Washington? The 9/12ers are willing to stand in line and take our shoes off before the plane actually hits the tower.”
Michele Bachmann as Wingnut Michele:
“I’d love to have everyone join me so we can go up and down through the halls, find members of Congress, look at the whites of their eyes and say, ‘Don’t take away my healthcare.’”
Virginia Foxx as Birdbrain:
“Everywhere I go in my district, people tell me they are frightened. . . . I share that fear, and I believe they should be fearful. And I believe the greatest fear that we all should have to our freedom comes from this room – this very room – and what may happen later this week in terms of a tax increase bill masquerading as a health care bill. I believe we have more to fear from the potential of that bill passing than we do from any terrorist right now in any country.”
Tonight’s episode is brought to you by the Republican Party:
The health care reform bill is right outside your door! It's wearing a vest of explosives. Don’t let it into your home! Terrorists! Conspiracy! Fear! Listen to us!
And FOX News:
Tune in to tomorrow’s episode . . . whoops, I mean newscast, to hear all about how democrats sweat sulfur from the bowels of hell and republicans’ saliva cures cancer! Fox News, we lie so you don’t have to!
Monday, November 9, 2009
Mediocre Minds
Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds
Albert Einstein
As evidence that Mr. Einstein knew what he was talking about I present these signs seen at various Tea Party protests:
“Obama listens to Mao, I listen to Fox News”
“Obama and his Marxist buddies are after your freedom”
“The American taxpayers are the Jews for Obama’s ovens”
“Obama loves taxes, bankrupt USA, loves babykilling”
“Barrack Hussein Obama: The new face of Hitler”
A cartoon of Obama slitting the throat of Uncle Sam
and the vilest of them all:
“National Socialist Healthcare Dachau Germany 1945” printed over a photo of a pile of dead Jews
This is the devolution of this country. Soon we’ll be back to single-celled paramecium swimming in the muck. How did we go from a country of intelligent, thoughtful, progressive pioneers to degenerate, ignorant, hate-spewing separatists?
If there is even one person, much less a thousand, who think these type of incendiary signs are appropriate to the national discourse, then as a country, we are lost.
Albert Einstein
As evidence that Mr. Einstein knew what he was talking about I present these signs seen at various Tea Party protests:
“Obama listens to Mao, I listen to Fox News”
“Obama and his Marxist buddies are after your freedom”
“The American taxpayers are the Jews for Obama’s ovens”
“Obama loves taxes, bankrupt USA, loves babykilling”
“Barrack Hussein Obama: The new face of Hitler”
A cartoon of Obama slitting the throat of Uncle Sam
and the vilest of them all:
“National Socialist Healthcare Dachau Germany 1945” printed over a photo of a pile of dead Jews
This is the devolution of this country. Soon we’ll be back to single-celled paramecium swimming in the muck. How did we go from a country of intelligent, thoughtful, progressive pioneers to degenerate, ignorant, hate-spewing separatists?
If there is even one person, much less a thousand, who think these type of incendiary signs are appropriate to the national discourse, then as a country, we are lost.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
The Conservative Michelles: Bringing the Crazy
Michele Bachmann: Congresswoman from Minnesota
Michele is on record that she is trying to stop health care reform through prayer and fasting. I say the way to stop Michele Bachmann is with a 2 by 4. Thank you everybody, I’ll be here all week. Tip your waitresses.
Seriously, while I also believe in prayer and fasting, the God that I worship would not want these powerful gifts to be used to defeat something that could potentially benefit millions of people. Recently Michele made another bold statement that the Democrats will do anything to keep women like her and Sarah Palin from becoming president before a Democratic woman holds the office.
You devil Michele, you uncovered our nefarious plan: to have any democratic woman become president before an ignorant, narrow-minded attention whore. The plan was revealed in a scroll, once thought to be apocryphal, but eventually discovered in a hidden chamber on the Kennedy compound (along with a kick-ass recipe for cock-a-leekie soup). Written in a cipher where the numbers 1-37 represent the vowels of the alphabet and a variety of coniferous trees stand in for the consonants, the message was translated as:
When a dark haired woman comes from the north, the acid of lies and ignorance dripping from her tongue, the world must marshal their forces to stop her from being elected as leader of the United States. If a woman from the Democratic Party can be elected first it will dilute her power and she will fade to black. If she is elected first, it means the gene pool of the United States has been drained and we are now no better than amoeba.
Michelle Malkin: Bat-shit crazy columnist and TV pundit
Michelle Malkin is a gainsayer. Whatever President Obama says, Michelle says the opposite. She doesn’t think, she just screeches like her hair is on fire. If Obama declared Michelle the greatest person in the world, she would deny it. Here is what I think her column the next day would read like:
In his latest bit of liberal propaganda, President Obama has declared me the greatest person in the world. This is a transparent attempt to make me look like a sane, rational human being. The Democrats will stop at nothing to make people believe that conservatives like myself, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and Glenn Beck aren’t lying, egomaniacal mouth-breathers. This isn’t a dictatorship Mr. President. You can’t decide who is open-minded or well-balanced and then declare it to the world as if it were fact. My loyal readers know how deep my psychosis runs and that my vile, uneducated rants against conspiracies that don’t exist preclude me from being branded the greatest person in the world. Nice try President Obama.
Michele is on record that she is trying to stop health care reform through prayer and fasting. I say the way to stop Michele Bachmann is with a 2 by 4. Thank you everybody, I’ll be here all week. Tip your waitresses.
Seriously, while I also believe in prayer and fasting, the God that I worship would not want these powerful gifts to be used to defeat something that could potentially benefit millions of people. Recently Michele made another bold statement that the Democrats will do anything to keep women like her and Sarah Palin from becoming president before a Democratic woman holds the office.
You devil Michele, you uncovered our nefarious plan: to have any democratic woman become president before an ignorant, narrow-minded attention whore. The plan was revealed in a scroll, once thought to be apocryphal, but eventually discovered in a hidden chamber on the Kennedy compound (along with a kick-ass recipe for cock-a-leekie soup). Written in a cipher where the numbers 1-37 represent the vowels of the alphabet and a variety of coniferous trees stand in for the consonants, the message was translated as:
When a dark haired woman comes from the north, the acid of lies and ignorance dripping from her tongue, the world must marshal their forces to stop her from being elected as leader of the United States. If a woman from the Democratic Party can be elected first it will dilute her power and she will fade to black. If she is elected first, it means the gene pool of the United States has been drained and we are now no better than amoeba.
Michelle Malkin: Bat-shit crazy columnist and TV pundit
Michelle Malkin is a gainsayer. Whatever President Obama says, Michelle says the opposite. She doesn’t think, she just screeches like her hair is on fire. If Obama declared Michelle the greatest person in the world, she would deny it. Here is what I think her column the next day would read like:
In his latest bit of liberal propaganda, President Obama has declared me the greatest person in the world. This is a transparent attempt to make me look like a sane, rational human being. The Democrats will stop at nothing to make people believe that conservatives like myself, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and Glenn Beck aren’t lying, egomaniacal mouth-breathers. This isn’t a dictatorship Mr. President. You can’t decide who is open-minded or well-balanced and then declare it to the world as if it were fact. My loyal readers know how deep my psychosis runs and that my vile, uneducated rants against conspiracies that don’t exist preclude me from being branded the greatest person in the world. Nice try President Obama.
Monday, August 3, 2009
Peter King: Douchebag of the Week
Representative Peter King (republican, New York) says that health care reform is “not a major issue among the American people.”
Hey numnuts, sorry, Representative Numnuts, I’m an American citizen and I haven’t had health insurance for over a year because I can’t afford it. I work with 3 other people in the same situation. One of my brothers doesn’t have it because he can’t afford it. I have friends, a married couple with a young son, both out of work and they don’t have health insurance because they can’t afford it. I know you’re a stupid, stupid man but is any of this sinking in? Do you ever go out and talk to anyone you purport to represent?
I’m one person from a small town in Pennsylvania. Including myself I just gave you a portrait of 7 people who don’t have health insurance because of the prohibitive cost. These are just people in my personal orbit. Can you imagine how many of us there are across the country and how many individuals we represent who aren’t insured, who doesn’t go to the doctor or dentist or eye doctor because they can’t pay the bills?
Health care reform isn’t an important issue? What is an important issue to you Representative King of the Assholes? I’m guessing making sure you get re-elected so you and your family GET FREE HEALTH CARE FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIVES would be at the top of your list.
Let me take a shot at some other issues important to you: Continuing to pocket money from lobbyists, keeping your mistress and hookers secret from the nosy media, misrepresenting facts, good old republican fear mongering, and disingenuous behavior of all kinds.
I call on our friends in New York state to vote this buffoon out of office next election. To quote the late Bill Hicks, “we have to rid the world of all these fevered egos”.
Hey numnuts, sorry, Representative Numnuts, I’m an American citizen and I haven’t had health insurance for over a year because I can’t afford it. I work with 3 other people in the same situation. One of my brothers doesn’t have it because he can’t afford it. I have friends, a married couple with a young son, both out of work and they don’t have health insurance because they can’t afford it. I know you’re a stupid, stupid man but is any of this sinking in? Do you ever go out and talk to anyone you purport to represent?
I’m one person from a small town in Pennsylvania. Including myself I just gave you a portrait of 7 people who don’t have health insurance because of the prohibitive cost. These are just people in my personal orbit. Can you imagine how many of us there are across the country and how many individuals we represent who aren’t insured, who doesn’t go to the doctor or dentist or eye doctor because they can’t pay the bills?
Health care reform isn’t an important issue? What is an important issue to you Representative King of the Assholes? I’m guessing making sure you get re-elected so you and your family GET FREE HEALTH CARE FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIVES would be at the top of your list.
Let me take a shot at some other issues important to you: Continuing to pocket money from lobbyists, keeping your mistress and hookers secret from the nosy media, misrepresenting facts, good old republican fear mongering, and disingenuous behavior of all kinds.
I call on our friends in New York state to vote this buffoon out of office next election. To quote the late Bill Hicks, “we have to rid the world of all these fevered egos”.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
