Advertisers are pulling their ads from the Glenn Beck Show since he called President Obama a racist. My question is, how do we get Glenn Beck to pull out of the Glenn Beck show?
Michele Bachmann’s son Harrison has joined Teach for America. This is part of Americorp which Michele herself termed a “re-education camp” for young people. Today we’re going to teach Michele a new word. The dictionary defines "irony" as incongruity between what might be expected and what actually occurs.
Repeat after me Michele: Irony. No, not iron. Not Iran. No, not I run away. No, I didn’t say Ernie . . .
The Cosmic Overdrive award for best comeback line goes to Representative Rick Larsen (D-Wash.) who was asked by someone at a town hall meeting "Why are all Americans being forced into a government-run health care and insurance plan?" Larsen answered “With regards to the first comment about being forced to buy health care, I'll say it again... The bill does not force anybody to buy health care ... The bill does not force people to change their health care plan. Now folks will say that's not true, but I've got facts on my side and you've got Glenn Beck on your side.” And brother when you have Glenn Beck on your side you have been screwed worse than Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan.
Lou Dobbs says there are legitimate questions about President Obama’s birth certificate. I think there are legitimate questions as to why Dobbs is on TV and not working as a Walmart greeter.
Actor Jerry O’Connell has entered law school. Great, now he can sue himself because of all the shitty movies he’s made.
Sarah Palin is still an idiot. What, you need more proof than the past 10 months? Okey Dokey. There is a provision in the proposed health care bill for money for end-of-life counseling. The Wasilla Whackjob has interpreted this as the government setting up ‘death panels’. Well Susie, grandma wasn’t feeling well so we drove her out into the country and dropped her off at a farm where she could run free.
Showing posts with label right wing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label right wing. Show all posts
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Beckster and the Bachmanninator
This fall on Fox it’s the new hit comedy Beckster and the Bachmanninator. Watch as a U.S. Congresswoman and a right wing radio/TV host share an apartment, trade paranoid delusions and deal with the liberals across the hall.
In the pilot episode, Michelle gets added to some important lists and Glenn contradicts himself faster than any man in history. Let’s watch:
Theme Song:
It’s Glenn
and his pal Michelle
They’re crazy
but they can’t tell
She calls him Beckster
he calls her the Bachmanninator
They’re paranoid
together!
Opening: Michelle Bachmann sits at the kitchen table reading the newspaper.
Michelle: It says here that the National Republican Congressional Committee added me to a list of the most vulnerable incumbents in 2010. I’ve been added to a lot of lists lately. I’m on that waiting list for the new experimental anti-psychotic drug, I’m number one in frequent flier miles on Crazytown Airlines, and I’ve just been added to the advisory board for the support group Making Paranoia Work For You. Oh yes, last night I joined that new Facebook group Republicans Against Fact Checking and of course there are my duties as treasurer for the Joseph McCarthy Fan Club.
Michelle looks at her watch.
I forgot, Glenn is on Fox and Friends this morning. I wonder how it’s going.
Michelle turns on the TV.
Glenn: President Obama has over and over again exposed himself as a guy who has a deep-seated hatred for white people or the white culture.
Fox host Brian Kilmeade: Many people that work in Obama’s administration are white so you can’t say he doesn’t like white people.
Glenn: “I’m not saying he doesn’t like white people.
Music: Mwapp Mwapp Mwapp Mwaaaaaa
Michelle: Oh no, he did it again. That's my Glenn!
Cue laugh track and applause.
Join us next week when Al Franken and Michael Moore move in downstairs and object to Michelle and Glenn constantly blowing their own horns. Goodnight everybody!
In the pilot episode, Michelle gets added to some important lists and Glenn contradicts himself faster than any man in history. Let’s watch:
Theme Song:
It’s Glenn
and his pal Michelle
They’re crazy
but they can’t tell
She calls him Beckster
he calls her the Bachmanninator
They’re paranoid
together!
Opening: Michelle Bachmann sits at the kitchen table reading the newspaper.
Michelle: It says here that the National Republican Congressional Committee added me to a list of the most vulnerable incumbents in 2010. I’ve been added to a lot of lists lately. I’m on that waiting list for the new experimental anti-psychotic drug, I’m number one in frequent flier miles on Crazytown Airlines, and I’ve just been added to the advisory board for the support group Making Paranoia Work For You. Oh yes, last night I joined that new Facebook group Republicans Against Fact Checking and of course there are my duties as treasurer for the Joseph McCarthy Fan Club.
Michelle looks at her watch.
I forgot, Glenn is on Fox and Friends this morning. I wonder how it’s going.
Michelle turns on the TV.
Glenn: President Obama has over and over again exposed himself as a guy who has a deep-seated hatred for white people or the white culture.
Fox host Brian Kilmeade: Many people that work in Obama’s administration are white so you can’t say he doesn’t like white people.
Glenn: “I’m not saying he doesn’t like white people.
Music: Mwapp Mwapp Mwapp Mwaaaaaa
Michelle: Oh no, he did it again. That's my Glenn!
Cue laugh track and applause.
Join us next week when Al Franken and Michael Moore move in downstairs and object to Michelle and Glenn constantly blowing their own horns. Goodnight everybody!
Monday, May 11, 2009
Glenn Beck: The Sad Birthday Clown of the Far Right
He sits in front if his dressing room mirror in solitude, wiping off the grease paint, putting the red rubber nose back in its case. The big floppy shoes don’t come off as easily as they went on. His feet are swollen after hours of standing up against socialism for the salivating moralists of the fringe right.
The clown stares into the mirror and gives himself a hard look, wondering, is this who I really am or just who I’ve become? Do I really believe the outlandish and borderline psychotic things I say? Are my crying jags in front of a television audience real or do I just know how to sell a crowd? Do I really have the common people in the folds of my ridiculously oversized, polka-dotted clown suit?
“I don’t know,” he thinks, “I’ve always just seen myself as an entertainer and a bad one at that. But when I say socialism my slavish minions gnash their teeth and rend their clothing. When I say my ass itches, they offer to scratch it for me.”
The paint is off, his public face now just residue on a towel. He hangs up the suit, placing the giant shoes lovingly underneath so it looks like the outfit still has life. With a wan smile, he gives the lapel flower one quick squirt, splashing water off his face and he laughs with a snort. Cheers him up every time.
Leaving the room, the clown flicks the light off, allowing the darkness to swallow his persona. With the door closed, his mind turns to tomorrow. He has precious few hours to make up facts and create conspiracies for the next performance. There’s always another show and the clown has to be “on” or the kiddies get restless. He doesn’t want them leaving the party to go to Sean, Rush or Bill’s house. It’s all about the frizzy orange hair and the fake moral outrage that keeps it glued on.
Out in the night, where real life is happening, he takes a tentative step. No one notices. No one revels or bleats his name. Haltingly the human being begins his trek home, feeling lost and alone.
The clown stares into the mirror and gives himself a hard look, wondering, is this who I really am or just who I’ve become? Do I really believe the outlandish and borderline psychotic things I say? Are my crying jags in front of a television audience real or do I just know how to sell a crowd? Do I really have the common people in the folds of my ridiculously oversized, polka-dotted clown suit?
“I don’t know,” he thinks, “I’ve always just seen myself as an entertainer and a bad one at that. But when I say socialism my slavish minions gnash their teeth and rend their clothing. When I say my ass itches, they offer to scratch it for me.”
The paint is off, his public face now just residue on a towel. He hangs up the suit, placing the giant shoes lovingly underneath so it looks like the outfit still has life. With a wan smile, he gives the lapel flower one quick squirt, splashing water off his face and he laughs with a snort. Cheers him up every time.
Leaving the room, the clown flicks the light off, allowing the darkness to swallow his persona. With the door closed, his mind turns to tomorrow. He has precious few hours to make up facts and create conspiracies for the next performance. There’s always another show and the clown has to be “on” or the kiddies get restless. He doesn’t want them leaving the party to go to Sean, Rush or Bill’s house. It’s all about the frizzy orange hair and the fake moral outrage that keeps it glued on.
Out in the night, where real life is happening, he takes a tentative step. No one notices. No one revels or bleats his name. Haltingly the human being begins his trek home, feeling lost and alone.
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