The news was broken a few days ago that technicians have been able to recover 22 million White House emails that were lost during the Bush administration. Now I’ve lost things before, but 22 MILLION emails? What could they have said that no one tried to save them or retrieve them when they realized they were lost? Luckily Cosmic Overdrive has gotten its hands on some of the messages and they shed some light on what the day to day workings of the Bush White House were like:
From: George Bush
To: Donald Rumsfeld
Subject: cool video
Hey Rummy, have you seen that video on the You Tubes of that kitty playing the piano? Can we get that kitty for the next Kennedy Center thing? Get on it.
From: Dick Cheney
To: Dana Perrino
Subject: Fear
I saw the press briefing today. There was no mention of how afraid the American people should be. From now on I want at least 3 mentions of fear to the press every day.
From: George Bush
To: Dick Cheney
Subject: Hey!
Hey grandpa! You awake? Ha ha ha
From: George Bush
To: John Ashcroft
Subject: Nickname
Hey Ashcroft I have a new nickname for you: Asscrap! Ashcroft—Asscrap, you get it? Gotta go, some general is talking to me
From: Donald Rumsfeld
To: All
Subject: Computer Usage
Whoever used my computer last Tuesday while I was at lunch, I’m not paying for all this Indonesian porn you ordered
From: George Bush
To: All
Subject: Fwd: Get to Know Your Friends
I better get this back!
Fill in your answers and forward to all your email buddies
Name: George Bush
Occupation: The Decider
What are you wearing right now: GI Joe pjs
Favorite TV show: Gilligan’s Island
Cocaine or beer: BOTH!
Last book you read: Don’t remember, but the last movie I saw was Rambo III, get ‘em Rocky!
Person most likely to respond: mom
Person least likely to respond: Cheney (come one old man, prove me wrong!)
Woman you’d most like to see naked: Condi (don’t tell her)
From: Dick Cheney
To: George Bush
Subject: RE: Get to Know Your Friends
How many times have I told you to stop sending me this crap? I have a country to run!
Showing posts with label George Bush. Show all posts
Showing posts with label George Bush. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Sarah Palin: Going Stupid
Sarah Palin’s autobiography Going Rogue has just been released. What a title, because she’s a maverick, a pioneer, an iconoclast. And why is that? Well let’s face it; normally someone this stupid would try to stay out of the limelight, to not draw attention to their idiocy. But what did Sarah “Rogue” Palin do instead? She ran for governor of Alaska. I won’t cast aspersions on the people of Alaska. When I wonder why they voted for Sarah Palin I have to believe they were under the influence of a mass delusion and they thought they were voting for a valid candidate or perhaps a polar bear. Only when they woke up from their reverie did they realize what they had wrought.
Here’s where our story takes a sharp left turn, a rogue turn, if you will. Sarah’s Circus of Stupidity would have remained in Alaska, a gentle, warming sense of amusement on those below 0 nights if it hadn’t been for John McCain. Or as he became known during the 2008 election campaign, John “Dear God I will do anything if you just let me be president” McCain.
John, in his infinite wisdom, asked Sarah to be his vice president. Most people, who knew their brains weren’t firing on all neurons, would have said no. But you know our Sarah, she’s a dope. I mean rogue. What does she do? She says yes, John, I will be your vice president. I will do interviews in which I say nothing but “you betcha” and “Bill Ayers” over and over again. I’ll say things in a homespun, folksy way meant to endear me to people but instead come off sounding like Granny catching a possum down at the ce-ment pond. I’ll go into a debate so unprepared that somewhere a chimpanzee watching the event will be heard to mutter, “You gotta be kidding me. This is a joke right?”
The gauzy haze of the Bush years was finally lifted and the American people rejected the bumbling please-let-me-win desperation of McCain/Palin and elected Barack Obama president. We thought we had seen and heard the last of Sarah Palin. But instead of staying in the wilds of Alaska and leaving us alone, she quits as governor, writes her memoir and becomes a nuisance by spreading herself all over the TV and newspapers like a stomach virus.
Our long, national nightmare continues . . .
Here’s where our story takes a sharp left turn, a rogue turn, if you will. Sarah’s Circus of Stupidity would have remained in Alaska, a gentle, warming sense of amusement on those below 0 nights if it hadn’t been for John McCain. Or as he became known during the 2008 election campaign, John “Dear God I will do anything if you just let me be president” McCain.
John, in his infinite wisdom, asked Sarah to be his vice president. Most people, who knew their brains weren’t firing on all neurons, would have said no. But you know our Sarah, she’s a dope. I mean rogue. What does she do? She says yes, John, I will be your vice president. I will do interviews in which I say nothing but “you betcha” and “Bill Ayers” over and over again. I’ll say things in a homespun, folksy way meant to endear me to people but instead come off sounding like Granny catching a possum down at the ce-ment pond. I’ll go into a debate so unprepared that somewhere a chimpanzee watching the event will be heard to mutter, “You gotta be kidding me. This is a joke right?”
The gauzy haze of the Bush years was finally lifted and the American people rejected the bumbling please-let-me-win desperation of McCain/Palin and elected Barack Obama president. We thought we had seen and heard the last of Sarah Palin. But instead of staying in the wilds of Alaska and leaving us alone, she quits as governor, writes her memoir and becomes a nuisance by spreading herself all over the TV and newspapers like a stomach virus.
Our long, national nightmare continues . . .
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Tim Pawlenty's Empty Words
Tim “Good ‘n” Pawlenty, the vanilla, republican apologist governor of Minnesota, said some things about President Obama in an interview with Newsmax.com that I found to be stupefyingly ignorant.
Pawlenty called Obama’s economic policy “corrosive to . . . freedom and liberty”. Excuse me Tim, what about Bush’s economic policies like deregulating Wall Street which led to the collapse of the past year or spending $12 billion a month on the Iraq War, and I believe Bush was still president when the first $700 billion were given to the banks. And how exactly have your freedoms been eroded? You’re still free to say any disingenuous and asinine thing you want. The constitution hasn’t been changed by this administration’s spending policies.
More from Pawlenty: “His solutions are federalization of policy, spending way beyond anything we’ve seen in terms of deficit levels, spending the country into bankruptcy”. When Bush entered office we had a SURPLUS. A surplus, Timwit, is defined as “an amount in excess of what is needed”. When Bush finally, mercifully, left office we had a $600 billion deficit. If you are so worried about debt levels you should have opened your freaking mouth somewhere between 2004 and 2008.
Pawlenty: “History proves that it is weakness, not strength that tempts our enemies. And he is projecting potential weakness, and enemies may see that and their respect may be reduced as a result . . .” How could other countries respect us less than seeing us elect a chimp-brain like Bush TWICE? Opening dialogue and maintaining good relationships with world leaders is not weakness you clod. Do World War I and II ring a bell in your tiny, oxygen starved brain? One country allied with another, fighting a common enemy? Alliances built on trust and common ground, that’s strength.
He won’t shut up: “President Obama has governed in an extremely liberal way, and he hasn’t accomplished many major initiatives, but the few that he has have been almost exclusively partisan.” I agree partially. Obama hasn’t accomplished much so far and I’ve been disappointed in his administration. But for a republican to complain of partisanship is like Bill O’Reilly complaining that Keith Olbermann is a blowhard. Obama said he would listen to new ideas except the republicans don’t have any. They keep handing him the same old dead carp wrapped in newspaper and want to call it caviar. Obama’s smart enough to shove it into the trash disposal and move on.
This interview Pawlenty gave was a lot of empty words wrapped up in his own ambition. Pawlenty has presidential aspirations. God help us if someone this dense gets elected again.
Pawlenty called Obama’s economic policy “corrosive to . . . freedom and liberty”. Excuse me Tim, what about Bush’s economic policies like deregulating Wall Street which led to the collapse of the past year or spending $12 billion a month on the Iraq War, and I believe Bush was still president when the first $700 billion were given to the banks. And how exactly have your freedoms been eroded? You’re still free to say any disingenuous and asinine thing you want. The constitution hasn’t been changed by this administration’s spending policies.
More from Pawlenty: “His solutions are federalization of policy, spending way beyond anything we’ve seen in terms of deficit levels, spending the country into bankruptcy”. When Bush entered office we had a SURPLUS. A surplus, Timwit, is defined as “an amount in excess of what is needed”. When Bush finally, mercifully, left office we had a $600 billion deficit. If you are so worried about debt levels you should have opened your freaking mouth somewhere between 2004 and 2008.
Pawlenty: “History proves that it is weakness, not strength that tempts our enemies. And he is projecting potential weakness, and enemies may see that and their respect may be reduced as a result . . .” How could other countries respect us less than seeing us elect a chimp-brain like Bush TWICE? Opening dialogue and maintaining good relationships with world leaders is not weakness you clod. Do World War I and II ring a bell in your tiny, oxygen starved brain? One country allied with another, fighting a common enemy? Alliances built on trust and common ground, that’s strength.
He won’t shut up: “President Obama has governed in an extremely liberal way, and he hasn’t accomplished many major initiatives, but the few that he has have been almost exclusively partisan.” I agree partially. Obama hasn’t accomplished much so far and I’ve been disappointed in his administration. But for a republican to complain of partisanship is like Bill O’Reilly complaining that Keith Olbermann is a blowhard. Obama said he would listen to new ideas except the republicans don’t have any. They keep handing him the same old dead carp wrapped in newspaper and want to call it caviar. Obama’s smart enough to shove it into the trash disposal and move on.
This interview Pawlenty gave was a lot of empty words wrapped up in his own ambition. Pawlenty has presidential aspirations. God help us if someone this dense gets elected again.
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