2009 Redux

I’ve been writing this blog for close to a year so I thought I’d take a look back at some of the things I wrote about and see where they stand now.

In October I wrote about my consternation at sports talk show hosts who jump on a team or coach’s bandwagon too soon without giving it enough time to honestly evaluate them. I used the Denver Broncos and their new coach Josh McDaniels as an example. Back then they were 4-0 and the blathering jabberjaws at ESPN had anointed Josh McDaniels as Wunderkind of the Year. I argued it was too early and they had only played so-so competition. So what happened? Things didn’t look good for my points of contention as the Broncos won the next 2 games to go 6-0, but they came through for me in the end by losing 8 of their last 10 to finish 8-8 and out of the playoffs.

That same month I posted an entry ruminating on what luck was, so you may be wondering if I’ve had any new insights. Well, at Christmas I received several instant lottery tickets which netted me $2 and a free ticket. So my only insight is that whatever luck is, it still hates me.

Way back in April I wrote a response to someone I had heard on the radio making fun of anyone over the age of 12 who still listened to Motley Crue. At the time I didn’t know the talking monkey’s name but now I do. I recognized his voice one day as he is the new co-host of the Scott Van Pelt Show on ESPN radio. Ryan Russillo is the self important oaf and after listening to him for a while I realized I don’t like him.

It’s not the Crue slight either. I’m not championing Motley Crue as the greatest band ever; he just made an unnecessarily rude comment. But listening to him on the radio, every opinion Ryan gives he states with an air of finality as if to say: I’m on radio so obviously I know more than you. Ryan did give me a frisson of schadenfreude this weekend. On Friday, talking about the Texas-Connecticut men’s basketball game, Ryan said, “I can’t see any way Connecticut can win this game.” So Saturday night when I found out Connecticut won by 14 points, I had a hearty laugh at Ryan’s expense.

Also in April I said goodbye to Texas many times and in many ways as they threatened to secede. Sadly, as of this writing, they are still a member of the union.

May saw a blog on the comeback of the band Creed. I postulated that no one cared and wrote a playlet to illustrate my point. I would like to claim victory as the latest issue of Rolling Stone announced the tanking of both their new CD and their summer tour.

I spent a lot of time making fun of republicans this past year so with a new year upon us, I resolve to continue making fun of republicans as often as possible.

What has all of this taught us? Not a damn thing.

Creed: The Reunion No One Asked For

It’s time to get out the B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T. machine, the Biological Utilization Lying and Larceny Shinola Hypocritical Intelligence Translator which we here at Cosmic Overdrive use when a celebrity or politician says something that doesn’t smell quite right.

The rock band Creed, which broke up a few years ago, has, according to Rolling Stone, reformed. Singer Scott Stapp is quoted as saying he missed his band mates and they felt the same way intimating this may be their reason for as he calls it, a “rebirth” of Creed.

So, Scott, you don’t think it could be because your solo career and new band formed by the other members, Alter Bridge, have had little success on their own? Does that ring a bell? Playing clubs instead of stadiums? No radio play versus 24 hour saturation? Dating JC Penney Catalog models instead of Playboy playmates? Any of this sound familiar?

Here’s how B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T. imagines their reunion meeting went:

Stapp: So guys, what have you been doing since we broke up?

Rest of the band: We formed a new band, Alter Bridge.

Stapp: Cool. How’s that going?

Rest of the band: We’ve sold a dozen CDs out of the back of our manager’s Astrovan.

Stapp: Yeah? Well I recorded a solo CD. Sold 13 copies, mostly to my wife’s family.

Rest of the band: Yeah, well, 2 more people just bought ours while we were standing here, so that’s 14.

Stapp: Uh huh. Well I met 3 people last night that were definitely thinking about going out and buying my CD in the next few days, so that’s 15 for me.

Rest of the band: My uncle is going to buy one for all his fellow Wal Mart greeters, so then, technically, we’ll be in the largest retailer in the world.

Stapp: Yeah? Well my dad owns Wal mart and he’ll see that never happens!

Rest of the band: Your dad doesn’t own Wal mart, he sells boat insurance.

Stapp: Nuh uh.

Rest of the band: Yuh huh.

Stapp: Ok, ok. This is stupid. Our careers have settled to the bottom of the lake. You want to just get Creed back together?

Rest of the band: Yeah, all right.

Stapp: Cool. I’m still going to be an asshole and I get first choice of the women backstage.

Rest of the band: Whatever. We just want to play to more than 16 people. That one guy follows us to all of the shows . . . and he smells like cheese.

Stapp: Sorry, I wasn’t listening. I was practicing my messianic posing.

Rest of the band: This is gonna suck.